Wait? What?
by 666MadHatter666
Summary: This story is in an alternate universe where Goku is a girl and a whole lot of other awesome stuff so check it out. Includes GokuxVegeta, GohanxPiccolo, BulmaxRaditz, ChiChixOC, and maybe even TrunksxGoten.
1. Chapter 1

Okay so anybody who reads this has obviously watched or read Dragon Ball Z Kai, which is around the time period I am using, so I'll just explain the changes I'm making. ChiChi is a man, Goku is girl, Goku has an older sister in this that came to Earth with her, Planet Vegeta was never destroyed though Goku and her sister were still sent to Earth as babies, whenever Goku feels sexually in danger she/he transforms into the same sex as the person who threatens her/him, Please don't hate w I'm not a very experienced writer, I will use Goku's sister to make Gohan and Goten with ChiChi, And Raditz and Bulma to have Trunks. Also there won't be hardly any fighting in this story.

"Gooooooookuuuuuuu! Get up!" Goki yelled at her sleeping sister. It was time to go to Master Roshi's and Goku was still sleeping. Goku had spent the night after training with Goki and Goki's son Gohan. Goki, fuming by now, got a bucket of ice water and dumped it on Goku.

Goku yelped and jumped out of bed, "Goki! Why did you do that!" Goku whined at her. "We are leaving now!" Goki shouted as she grabbed Goku by the collar of her orange and blue gi and dragged her downstairs.

ChiChi was calmly packing food as Gohan ate when Goki flew down the stair dragging Goku. "How many times do I have to tell you not to make a ruckus in the morning!" ChiChi roared. "Today?" Goku replied sincerely. "Ugh!" ChiChi groaned and grabbed the bags of food he had prepared to load into Bulma's ship(?) that had landed a few minutes earlier.

"Hey!" Bulma shouted towards the Son's. "Hi Bulma!" Goku and Goki chorused while Gohan hid behind Goki. "Aw! You're just so cute!" Bulma cooed at Gohan then turned to Goku, "So are you planning to have one of those soon?" Bulma asked with her creepy Bulma smile. "One of what?" Goku asked acting confused. Bulma fell over and sweat dropped "Never mind." She stated "Just load up so we can go already." Goku shrugged and grabbed her spend-the-night-bag and a few food bags from the kitchen and put them in the ship.

ooooooOoooooo

ARRIVAL AT MASTER ROSHI'S

"Hey!" Goku shouted from Nimbus. She had chosen to use it rather than fly with everyone else in Bulma's ship. "Goku! Is that you! You've gotten so big!" Roshi shouted eyeing her chest perversely. "Good to see you to Roshi." Goku laughed "Hey Krillin!" Goku shouted at her little bald friend. "Goku! Good to see you buddy!" Krillin greeted. Bulma landed her ship and everyone jumped out and exchanged greetings then unloaded all their food.

Everyone was in the middle of eating lunch, though for Goku and Goki it was more like they were imitating vacuum's, when Krillin, Yamcha, and Master Roshi felt a new ki coming towards the island. They hurried outside to see who it was. A tall man with long black hair and a tail like Goku and Goki's landed on the island. "Raditz!" Goku and Goki shouted and ran at the dark haired man who opened his arms and embraced them. Goki and Goku had kept in touch with their brother, Raditz, since they were younger but no one else had seen him on Earth till then. "I have some big news for you two." Raditz exclaimed happily. "What is it?" Goki and Goku asked. Sometimes Raditz thought they were twins, especially when they spoke together like that. "Prince Vegeta is coming to Earth! He got into big trouble with his Dad so he is going to stay here for a while!" Raditz told them. Bulma coughed interrupting their little reunion "Not to be a bother but….." She stated calmly then yelled "Who in the world is this guy!" "Oh!" Goki exclaimed "This is our brother, Raditz." Goku finished. "What!" Everyone yelled except for Gohan who still clung to Goki. "Raditz, this is Bulma, Master Roshi, Krillin, Yamcha, my husband ChiChi, and my son Gohan." Goki stated.

"You're mated and have a son!" Raditz shouted. "Yes she is and does." Goku sang. "Please tell me you aren't Goku!" Raditz cried. "N-no I'm not!" Goku shouted blushing. She didn't mind if Goki asked but it was just weird when Raditz did. "Whew! Anyway Prince Vegeta will be here soon so he and I will need suitable lodgings." Raditz stated. "Hey Bulma, Can Raditz and Prince Vegeta stay at Capsule Corp.?" Goku asked. "Uh... Sure Goku…" Bulma replied distantly barely registering what she had said. "Cool!" Goku shouted taking Bulma out of her daydream "Wait! What! Ugh!"

"Well anyway I have to go find where he landed so does one of you want to come with me or should I just bring him back here?" Raditz asked looking at Goki. "I'll go with you cause we can go straight to Capsule Corp. afterwards." Goku answered "Plus I'm staying there anyway." Raditz nodded "Bye Goki! See you later!" Raditz shouted before Him and Goku flew off. Goki waved and shouted "Bye!"

ooooooOoooooo

WHERE VEGETA LANDED

"Ah! Here we are!" Raditz exclaimed as he and Goku hovered above the large crater created by the small transport pod. Prince Vegeta stepped out of the pod with a scowl and floated up to Raditz and the woman. "Prince Vegeta." Raditz greeted to which Vegeta nodded. Goku just stared at him until Raditz elbowed her "What?" Goku asked. "In case you forgot he's the Prince." Raditz hissed. "Oh!" Goku exclaimed and blushed "Uh… Hi!" Goku said with a slight bow. Vegeta smirked with a raised eyebrow "And who is this Raditz?" Vegeta asked. "This is my youngest sister Goku." Raditz replied.

"I wasn't informed you had siblings." Vegeta stated. "Ah. Well they were sent here when they were younger because of some… uh… family issues." Vegeta nodded. "So we should probably head over to Capsule Corp." Goku stated "Did you bring anything with you Prince Vegeta." Goku asked slightly embarrassed. "No." He replied then the three of them flew to Capsule Corp.

ooooooOoooooo

CAPSULE CORP.

"Alright so Mr. and Mrs. Briefs are on a vacation so it'll just be us and Bulma till they get back." Goku told them as they walked through the halls of Capsule Corp. "You two can choose your own rooms just make sure it's not mine or Bulma's." They nodded then Goku turned around and grabbed Raditz arm "Let's go take a bath Nii-san!" Raditz blushed furiously and shouted "Goku! We're too old to take baths together!" Goku pouted "Why!" Cue anime sweat drops for Vegeta and Raditz "D-do you really not know why!" Vegeta exclaimed. "W-well I didn't think it mattered since he's my Nii-san…." Goku said blushing. "It does." Raditz told her and ruffled her hair. "You can take a bath with me." Vegeta told Goku smirking. Goku yelped and jumped away "I-I'm good, thanks!" She said before scurrying into her room as Vegeta and Raditz chuckled.

Goku undressed and threw her clothes lazily into her hamper before walking into her bathroom and slipping into the tub. She was so embarrassed but the warm water soothed her. Once she was done washing herself she dried off and flopped onto her bed not bothering to get dressed and slipped into a dreamless sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry if some of the character changes offend any readers but if it does then read something else. Also there will be some Yaoi in this story but not a ton.

"out loud"

'thoughts'

*Sounds or effects*

Goku got up like she would any day in Capsule Corp. while Mr. and Mrs. Briefs were on their vacation. She got up and walked to the kitchen yawning and opened the fridge. "GOKU!" Someone other than Bulma called from the kitchen table. "What?" Goku asked annoyed then started drinking from the milk carton. "You're naked!" The man yelled high- pitched.

Goku fully opened her eyes to see Raditz and Prince Vegeta staring at her. She did a spit take "W-what! I'm not…." She looked down and sure enough she was naked. Goku's eyes widened and she blushed furiously "I-I-I-I-I! Stop staring!" She yelled and covered her breasts with her hands and her lower parts with her tail then she got very angry. Her ki rose rapidly and she looked, well no, she was going to kill someone.

Raditz and Vegeta turned around stiffly hoping to lessen her wrath. "Damn right." She grumbled and ran off to her room. Goku got dressed and walked back to the kitchen a blush still on her cheeks. "Morning." Bulma greeted from the kitchen table "Hungry?" Goku's stomach growled immediately after Bulma asked. Bulma laughed "Of course you are." Goku just nodded and sat at the table next to Vegeta since it was the only empty seat.

Bulma, of course, had to triple the amount of food for the robots to produce now that three hungry Saiyans were living with her. "So Goku, what are your plans for today?" Bulma asked politely. "Um… Training I guess… I might go shopping for some new clothes later or something…" Goku replied in between bites. "Is mating the same as marriage?" Goku choked and grabbed her milk. "Y-you could say that."

Raditz laughed at Goku's reaction "Are you planning on getting mated soon, Goku?" Raditz asked chuckling. "I don't know….." Goku mumbled "Are you planning on mating soon, old man." Raditz took on a hurt look "I'm not old." "Of course you're not." Bulma cooed. "If I didn't know better I would have thought you were mated to the Earth woman." Vegeta remarked.

Raditz and Bulma blushed. Vegeta and Goku smirked at them then Goku shouted out "Raditz and Bulma sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-" but Bulma leapt across the table and covered Goku's mouth before she could finish. "Goku!" Bulma hissed blushing.

Goku's eyes widened 'OMG! Bulma likes Raditz!' Bulma glared then cautiously took off her hand. Goku started giggling so much that she hiccupped "Damn you hiccups!" She shouted as Raditz, Vegeta and Bulma laughed at her. Goku got up and sat back on her chair " Meanie faces." Bulma had gone back to her chair as well when she shouted " Goku and Vegeta sitting in a tree-!" Goku sighed then stood up, leaned towards Vegeta, put her knee on his chair in between his legs, and started kissing him.

*Absolut silence* After a minute Goku stopped kissing him and turned to Bulma and Raditz and said "Your turn" while smiling sweetly. Vegeta hadn't blinked since Goku kissed him and a certain, very startled, Namekian had just walked in and had heard everything since Goku started singing.

"Goku?" Piccolo asked *anime sweat drop*. "Y-yeah Piccolo?" Goku asked shakily. " I was going to ask if you wanted to spar but I can see you're… uh… busy…" Piccolo said awkwardly and left. Goku turned angrily to Raditz and Bulma "Well, now that my sparring plans are messed up. You. Are. Going. To. Kiss. Now." Goku glared.

"Gah! Fine!" Bulma shouted then grabbed Raditz around his neck and crushed his lips with hers. Goku nodded smiling when they didn't part and turned to Vegeta. "Wake up!" She waved her hand in front of his face. Vegeta blinked and yelped when he saw Goku's face directly in front of his. Goku giggled "Did I startle you?" She asked. "Of course not third-class woman!" Vegeta replied haughtily.

"Of course not mini-Prince Veggie." Goku retorted. "What did you just call me!" Vegeta stood up quickly upsetting his chair. "Mini-Prince Veggie." Goku spat back at him also standing now. Vegeta pounced on her angrily. Raditz and Bulma *anime sweat drop*. They rolled together on the floor till Vegeta pinned Goku down by sitting on her waist and holding her arms down.

Goku flipped him over so she was on top then Vegeta did the same. They did that till Vegeta kissed her when he was on top. He pinched Goku's arm making her gasp. Vegeta took this opportunity to slide his tongue in her mouth and loosened his grip on her arms slightly. Bulma, being Bulma, shrugged and went back to kissing Raditz.

By this time Goku was just going to give up but then the doorbell rang. Goku bit Vegeta's tongue making him yelp and pull away then she pushed him off of her and ran to answer the door. "Hey Goki!" Goku greeted flushed. "Hey Goku?" Goki peeked behind Goku to see Raditz and Bulma kissing and Vegeta sitting on the floor with his hand over his mouth. 'suspicious' Goki thought.

"G-Go-chan?" Gohan whisper/called from behind Goki. "Gohan!" Goku smiled encouragingly. Gohan jumped from behind Goki and into Goku's arms. "Hey little guy." Goku hugged him and carried him over to the food covered table and sat with him in her lap "Come on in!" Goku called to Goki who was still trying to comprehend the situation.

Goku cleared her throat "Bulma, Raditz, there is a child in the room!" Goku nearly shouted. Raditz and Bulma pulled apart blushing. "Go mate somewhere else." Goku mumbled. Raditz and Vegeta heard and Gohan didn't understand. Vegeta chuckled and stood up while Raditz shot Goku a glare.

"Eat as much as you want." Goku told Gohan and Goki as Goki sat down where Vegeta had been sitting. "Go-chan, where's Piccoro?" Gohan asked adorably unable to pronounce Piccolo's name. "I don't know Gohan. Why?" Goku looked down at him questioningly. Gohan's eyes got teary "I want Piccoro!" He shouted making Goki do a spit take. "Wait! What!" She shouted.


	3. Chapter 3

Warning this story contains the following: Nudity, creepy smiles, an amazing amount of spit-takes, awesomeness, my inner creepiness, milk, and more spit-takes.

Hey there people! I hope you enjoy my story and haven't been scared off yet! Also I will update with two chapters each week once I get to a certain number of chapters.

"Take that brat to whatever this 'Piccoro' thing is so it will shut up!" Vegeta yelled ignoring Goki's previous spit-take. Goku tilted her head to the side then nodded and ran out the door. As she was leaving she could hear Bulma screaming "God damn it, Goki! There's milk everywhere!"

Goku looked down at the bawling child in her arms "Shush Gohan, we're going to the look out to see Piccolo right now." She told Gohan reassuringly. After hearing this Gohan stopped crying but he still sniffled. 'Finally stopped crying' she thought as she sighed and landed on the lookout a few feet away from Piccolo.

"Piccoro!" Gohan yelled and jumped onto Piccolo's face. "Gah!" Piccolo exclaimed as Gohan grabbed his face and kissed him full on the lips. Goku froze as she watched their totally bishounen moment. The tall stoic and the small adorable chibi with teary eyes! (A/N I am such a fan-girl! Kya!)

'OMKAMI!' Goku frozen face quickly turned into an evil grin as she watched the two interact "Soooooo…." She started. "So what?" Piccolo replied haughtily. "So are you two like." She stopped and twined her fingers together. "Please leave a message after the beep. Beeeeeeep." Gohan replied.

Goku rolled her eyes "Hey Gohan! It's Goku! I was just calling to ask a few things!-" She put her hand up to her ear like a phone "-Like when you and Piccolo are getting married! I have the perfect dress for" Gohan growled immediately stopping her. Goku raised her eyebrow at her chibi nephew "I wouldn't growl at someone twice your size, Gohan." Piccolo warned. Gohan looked up at Piccolo "You would protect me though, wouldn't you?" Piccolo sighed "Of course I would."

Goku made a whip noise paired with the whipped hand signal at Piccolo. Piccolo's eyebrow twitched angrily as he set Gohan on the ground. "Goku!" He yelled voice escalating as he ran at Goku. 'Oh shit!' Goku thought and burst into the air flying as quickly as possible to Capsule Corp. She seemed to have lost the Namekian for now.

"Whew!" She sighed as she walked into Capsule Corp. "Find Piccolo?" Goki asked already knowing the answer. Goku just nodded and started towards the couch when the door burst open. Piccolo. "Goooookuuuuuu!" He yelled. Goku's eyes widened then she did the best thing she could. She ran. She ran until she could turn a corner and get into a room before Piccolo could notice. She locked the door then turned her back on it and slid to the floor.

"Looks like I have a visitor." A man's voice said from the darkness. Goku reached her hand up the wall and turned the light switch on. 'Vegeta!' was her first thought and 'Sexy!' was her second. He was naked except for a painfully small towel wrapped around his waist. Goku was sure that if she had been drinking milk it would have been spewed all over the floor by now.

"Oh. My. Kami." Goku stated taken in by look at Vegeta's almost naked body. He grabbed hold of his towel "Should I return the favor you did for me this morning?" Vegeta asked his voice husky. "Uh….." She replied unsure. "Well if you insist." Vegeta grinned then let his towel drop. Goku yelped and clamped her hands over her eyes. She stayed like that for a moment but couldn't resist looking at him. She had been pinned down by him and he was toned to perfection so why waste the chance to see what was under his training suit?

Goku spread her fingers apart and slowly opened her eyes. She gaped and dropped her hands at what she saw. 'How in the world could such a small man have something THAT big!' She questioned. "Goku meet my-" He started. "Your dick!" She screamed.

Unknown to Goku Piccolo was contently sitting in the room next to Vegeta's listening to their whole conversation. Well at least until he heard what Goku had screamed.

*Vegeta anime sweat drop* "Don't hurt me!" Goku yelled at him shaking. Vegeta fell over "What exactly do you think THIS is for?" Vegeta asked exasperated. "Well Goki told me that dicks are used to hurt women and if I ever saw one I need to run as fast as I can or use my power." Goku explained eyeing his THING. Vegeta looked at her with pity and disgust then he got a real happy look on his face "So you have absolutely no experience in anything to do with THINGS?" He asked. "Yeeeeeeeeees….." Goku replied nervously. He grinned as wide as possible "Now I can teach you ev-er-ee-thing." He told her with enunciation.

Piccolo, still listening from the room beside Goku and Vegeta, heard a blood curdling scream coming from their room. He sent a ki blast at the wall and burst through thinking the worst. Goku was running away from Vegeta all over the room till she pounced on Piccolo and grabbed his crotch "Yes! You're asexual!" She yelled triumphantly (A/N In this story Piccolo has a THING but it's in his body and comes out like a dolphins). "Wait! What!" Piccolo yelled but then he saw the desperate look on Goku's face and mumbled "Whatever."

Just then Bulma, Raditz and Goki burst into the room. What they saw was a gaping hole in the wall, a disoriented Goku groping Piccolo, a Naked Vegeta and the weirdest of all was that Piccolo was willing to let someone touch him.

Bulma quickly shut the door then reopened it. "What is going on here!" Bulma yelled angrily. "I was running from Piccolo and came in here, then Vegeta pulled his dick out and I screamed, then Piccolo burst through the wall and I was checking to make sure he was asexual so he wouldn't be able to use his dick to hurt me." Goku sobbed and launched herself at Bulma who sidestepped and let her smack into Raditz.

"Well Mr. Prince who's going to pay for this wall, huh!" Bulma screamed. "Why are you yelling at me, woman, I'm not the one who broke the wall!" Vegeta roared. "Piccolo was saving Goku from you so it's your fault it was broken!" She yelled back. "I'm the Prince of all Saiyans! You can't talk to me this way!" He yelled and took off into the sky.

"Goku… I need to tell you something." Piccolo said from where he was now standing. "Okay what is it?" Goku asked curiously. "I'm not asexual." He replied sheepishly(A/N I know totally un-Piccolo but bear with me). "But-I?" She stuttered then looked at her hand "There was nothing there? Wait! What!"


End file.
